Perfect Imperfection

Being a product of 70’s and 80’s pop culture, I'm always astounded by women in strong roles in movies and television. I grew up in the “traditional” home, where Dad worked, and Mom worked harder, at home. I recall singing along to the perfume commercial, where the woman was talking about having it all, and hoping I would be independent too… ** ‘Cuz I'm a woman… **

I loved watching things with strong female roles. Wonder Woman, Lois Lane, Daisy Duke, Princess Leia. Every one of these ladies have shaped me into who I am today. They are probably the reason I joined the Navy, and chose a rate that was heavily manned by men. My dad suggested taking a “female” job, like secretary or cook. Nope. I trained to work on aviation egress systems. Basically, I was an ejection seat mechanic. Of course, there are now more women in the mechanical fields, but in the early 90’s, women were still being pushed out of the military for getting pregnant. Basically, they were forced out for doing what only women can do… Making tiny humans.

I think the appeal of seeing strong women in action was because I saw not only beauty, but brains and amazing strength. Not just physical strength, but emotional strength as well. In a culture where women were looked on as “lesser” beings, it was encouraging to see women take charge, and kick ass. So many shows portrayed women as dumb blondes, or weak and emotionally fragile, so the strong ones really stood out to me.

I mentioned Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke. Both were strong, beautiful, and resourceful. Wonder Woman had that invisible jet, the lasso of truth, and amazing costumes! She always won the day, with grace and style. Daisy Duke was a southern belle, with crazy moxy. She drove her cars like a professional driver. She could kick some serious butt in bar fights, and she never messed up her hair! She was sexy, sultry, and fierce when she needed to be, and she even survived quick sand! It's hilarious to think back on wanting to be everything Daisy Duke was, because I've never encountered any of the things she did, except for a bar fight, and I didn't want any of that mess!

I look at Linda Carter, and Catherine Bach, both are still beautiful. Linda stays active as an advocate for human rights. Catherine shares her experiences as a mother and widow, of a husband who committed suicide. Both are well grounded, and very active in their respective communities. Neither have succumbed to the rigors of Hollywood.

Lois Lane. She was incredible. Beautiful. Intelligent. Always curious, questioning the status quo. Strong, to the point of being fierce. I loved her. In the original Superman movie, when she's falling and Superman saves her, and claims “I've got you, miss”’ her response is priceless. “You've got me? Who's got you?!” Her relationship with Clark/Superman throughout the movies was interesting to observe. She went from being the one who needed rescued, to being the one who emotionally rescued Superman. Strength. Beauty. Brains. She had it all. But that was only on screen.

Margot Kidder suffered from severe bipolar disorder. She had manic episodes, as well as some substance abuse issues. Anyone who has a loved one with mental health disorders will tell you, this usually goes hand in hand. After a highly publicized manic episode, she was better medicated, and found effective ways to cope with her disorder. She continued to act, but not with the notoriety of her days as Lois Lane. Margot also became a US citizen, and was heavily entrenched in grass roots politics. She was even arrested for protesting expansion of the keystone pipeline. Fierce.

Princess Leia. Beauty. Grace. Determination. Fighting for the better good… The Star Wars saga of the 70’s and 80’s was way ahead of its time. Leia was the reason I watched them. Yes, Han Solo was incredibly sexy, but I was a kid, and wasn't there yet… I wanted to see this beautiful, cunning woman, save the day. And she never failed to amaze me! She used everything she had, to win the opportunity to fight another day. When they brought her back as a much older general, I was in heaven. She was obviously older. She was still beautiful, and the role allowed her to joke about that. “I've changed my hair…”. It was obvious she'd aged, gotten heavier with time, but her humor was still there, and she was brilliant in “A New Hope”. The mature and motherly role she played completely won me over. She had it all, humor, exasperation, compassion, love… Leia never showed weakness, even in vulnerable moments, because she showed us that it was ok to be soft when you needed to.

Carrie Fisher was Leia, in real life. She advocated for people with mental health disorders and addiction issues. She also suffered from both. Carrie spent many years struggling with bipolar disorder, and the accompanying addiction. Her career was hampered by this, because she did not fit the typical mold of “model” thinness, after taking medication to keep her stable. She was a true hero, though. She fought her demons, and won. She did it with grace, and fought to help others, and raise awareness about mental health stigma. She was fierce.

I use the word fierce, because the two women who helped shape who I am the most, were considered “weaker” by society's standards. Both mentally infirm. Both prior addicts. How crazy is that? We judge people daily, for having mental health conditions. We consider them less worthy of compassion, because they are “crazy”. We look at people with substance abuse disorders, and put them down. Losers. Crack heads. Criminals. We don't look at why they got there. We don't look at them, like they are humans. We assume it's a behavioural problem, rather than a coping mechanism for problems in their lives. But if they are famous, we celebrate them after their deaths.

Losing Princess Leia/Carrie Fisher was hard. Losing Lois Lane/Margot Kidder, really made me start thinking about my childhood, and who I truly felt modeled me into a strong, fierce, determined, and sometimes independent woman. I truly find it beautiful, that these “perfect” women on screen, were so incredibly flawed in life. And nevertheless, they persisted.